It’s a warm sunny morning in June, 2018. I am in my boyfriend’s room and I’m hysterically crying. It feels like it’s the end of the world. I am paralysed with fear. I feel completely desperate. Helpless. My boyfriend is sitting next to me, looking at me with a mix of compassion and confusion. He doesn’t know what to say or how to help me. And I don’t know how to help myself.
Nothing terrible happened – no death in the family or relationship heartbreak. I am just about to take an exam at the end of the semester at my university.
What happened next? I went in, I passed. Even got an A.
The terror was gone. And I couldn’t understand why on earth had I been crying about it for one and a half hours…
LIVING WITH FEAR
Fear has been my lifelong companion. I have always felt scared of many things, even if it didn’t always make sense to me.
Like before a school exam that I, in my rational mind, didn’t care that much about.
Or before entering a party where I didn’t know many people.
Or driving a car that I’ve never driven before.
UNDERSTANDING FEAR
All these experiences sparked my curiosity and made me want to really understand fear and its workings in my system.
At its core, fear is a survival mechanism, designed to alert us to potential threats and dangers. As valuable as this mechanism was when we as humans were facing many real life-threatening situations (like the classic example of a wild animal in the bushes), today it’s protective function often turns into a self-created prison.
And why is that?
The reason is that our nervous system cannot distinguish between real and imagined danger.
When faced with a perceived threat, our bodies go through a series of physiological changes, triggering the famous „fight or flight“ response. Heart rate increases, muscles tense, and senses become heightened, preparing us to either confront the threat head-on or flee to safety.
However, in the modern world, our fears are often more nuanced and less immediate. We fear failure, rejection, loss, and the unknown. These fears can be paralysing, holding us back from reaching our full potential and living life to the fullest.
Just like I would feel paralysed before my exam, to the point that I had to take medication to be even able to do it.
So, what can we do about it?
As uncomfortable as a fear response it, once it’s past, we can look closely at it, explore the roots of our specific fears and understand why they hold power over us.
The reality is, all our fears
I hear you asking.
When we are in the emotion of fear, we are usually not exactly capable to sit down and reflect, journal or meditate. And that’s where tapping comes in.
Now when I experience a strong emotion such as fear, I am not left for it to eat me up. I have a tool. A wonderful tool to connect to my body and bring myself back in that state of safety.
And I am here to share that with you
